The T.Vs up to loud. No one can here my cry inside. My dads yelling my moms crying my brothers never home. Basically I'm all alone. My friends have boyfriends they have no time for me. I wonder if they would realize i wasn't even around. My family can never get along all we do is fight. My dad tell at us even though i know he does it because he wants whats right. Hes under a lot of stress but he doesn't even realize whats going on i guess. My moms sick he wont get better all she does is sit around and smoke that doesn't help her get any better. My brothers never home. I always hoped my brother would the guy i could come to. But now I'm older and no longer naive. I see that he has a life and it no longer involves me. Hes a busy person but he does scare me. The way he drives the stuff he does is heartbreaking but he doesn't even mess with that. It seems my life is shattering. I never thought my life would be like this so dysfunctional so out of place. I always imagined my life as being happy and great. But how i could have been so gullible to believe such a lie. I know i don't have a bad life. I know i am privileged and i have many things to be happy about. But have you ever seen those movies where the parents have all this money but no time for the child. And then the child feels neglected and unloved. Well thats me. People say to me your looks are beautiful but they don't understand thats not going to get me through life. I know i get many things and yes i am spoiled with money yes with time and attention from my family NO. My family doesn't see how unhealthy this can be. To put a child through something like this is horrifying. I'm scared my parents will get a divorce and then I'm going to wake up one day and get the phone call that my brother was killed. All those things horrify me like crazy. I'm so worried that my family is being destroyed by this. But i am the only one with the balls to say something about it. So here you go just a hint of what my life is like. So there it is welcome to my life.....
