I know who i am

Who am i?
i know my name.
i know what i like.
i know what i dont like.
im always a little sad.
sometimes mad, sometimes happy.
clues, but still no answer.
the only way i ever knew myself was as a
big mess of bad habits, regrets, and mistakes.
i failed at the one thing i could ever be good at.
right now im struggling to put these plain, overused, boring words together.
to prove what?
i always fu(kiing lose.
i never fu(king win.
i know ill never fit in.
i know im only 16
but i dont work well under pressure, and im a bad decision maker.
so im just me.
writing in this notebook again, because my hand thinks im a writer
but my heart knows im a failure.
ill let you go now.
youll find me again.
in every sad song
on every gloomy day
in every sad story
on every bad day.
sorry mom & dad, this isnt a phase.
im living in a constant struggle.

ps: dear world, while youre still reading..
all of you that look the same..
all of you that try too hard...
the dyed hair that covers your ugly faces
too much eye makeup that is sloppy and uneven
pants that are far too tight
fake tans
fake this
fake that
all of you with your shitty fu(king attitudes
looking down on me, because you think
you fu(king high & mighty & tough shit
you fu(king abercrombie & fitch biithez
spending all your money on something
to make you feel more important.
you all make me sick
and i hope you all fu(king end up in a gutter somewhere.