Please (Quadrouple Lanturne)

by Bryan   Oct 1, 2006


.........Dance
.......With me,
.....Like that night
..We danced long ago,
.........Please.

..........It's
........What I
...Need from you,
..Only thing I Want,
........Please.

..........One
......More time
....and I'll leave
...Never come back
........Please.

..........Under
.........The pale
......Moon light lets
..dance one more time
..........Please.

A Lanturne is a Japanese form of writing with the syllable flow 1.2.3.4.1.
It forms the shape of a Japanese lanturne.

I know this is a quadruple but I thought it would be cool to do it.

Bryan Hunt © 2006

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Natasha

    Part of writing is experimenting with some new styles... I think you pulled this style off ;)
    Very nice,

    - natasha

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    Beautiful poem. i can just picture two ppl twirling under the moodlight.

  • 17 years ago

    by ashley

    Wow a big time 5/5 your really amazing at writing!!! keep it up and im gonna keep reading and voting/commentin

  • 17 years ago

    by Jessica

    This was amazing. It flowed beautifully and was just right on. I also enjoyed the repetition of the word 'please,' and am very surprised at how much detail i got from this poem considering it wasn't very long. great job! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Bridgette

    I like this poem.. I think that the story behind it is really sweet and sad at the same time. You did an amazing job on the structure.. it seems very hard to do. The flow and rhythm of this was very good and held up well.. I also liked the repetition of "please" at the end of each stanza or whatever they're called. It helped add to the sadness of the poem and made it a very good read! Great job on this! 5/5

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