My Apology, and Goodbye.

Two years ago, right this very second,
You were still alive,
I could have so easily seen you,
And there is anything i would give,

But we abused that priveledge,
Because from what i had seen,
Yours and mums relationship,
Was never as it should have been,

Brought together by blood,
Although never really friends,
Something happened between you,
That neither of you would mend,

I remember you from my childhood,
Babysitting, buying us pick n mix,
But between you and mum,
Nothing was ever fixed,

It must have been my fault,
And i could have done something,
Persuaded mum to get back in touch?
It would have been better than nothing,

Why didnt you tell someone,
That you were seriously ill?
We could have done something earlier,
To make you healthy again,

Instead cancer poisoned your body,
Until you were fragile and weak,
Mum visited you in hospital,
But you were too sick to even speak,

They told us they were turning off your machine,
To see if your body could cope,
I think we all knew what would happen,
But i still had shreds of hope,

When it finally happened,
Mum stayed in her room,
Life continued on as normal,
Spring even continued to bloom,

I know when you died, my mum talked to you,
I heard her tell my dad,
I know she made things up to you,
and that you were both no longer mad,

It pained for me to write this,
But im glad now it is done,
To you, this is my apology,
In my heart you will never be gone.