A silent tear
A blank face
A Cold world
A depressing place
everything i dreamed for
blew away with the wind
an evil disposition
and the devil grinned
sick from defeat
i throw up my hand
strike my own body hard
i can no longer stand
i know it is wrong
i know it does hurt
but the control i feel
exceeds my effort
my nails grip tight
on my reddening flesh
and i cut in a pattern
of a mixed up mesh
i feel alive
for this one sacred moment
this heavenly time
until I'm ripped absent
i brag and i boast
of my foul hobby
but it brings tears to my eyes
i am so nasty
i strike a nasty look
at myself in the mirror
i can feel the hate
from that stupid creature
i long for a feeling
better than this
a reality of joy
of undeniable bliss
