What a sad poem!
This brought me to tears! (Which prompted my media teacher to ask me whats wrong and when i showed her the poem, she had to go to the toilets for a bit)
You are so talented to be able to put this into a poem!

"she felt she was a demon
that she was her own ghost"

The line that hit me most for some reason.
What an upsetting but very well written poem!
5/5
*Gem*

Wow this is increadably sad.. I love it though, the painful betrayal of being hurt by someone you trust is horrible. I love the word choices. Thanx for sharing this peice of work with us.

Oh wow...this was heartbreaking.
It reminded me of my poem I can't take it anymore.
I think this was beautifully written, the imagery was astounding.

The poem was great, It was like instead of reading the poem, i was watching it in person...

the only thing i have to sugest is probably re-reading it over and over, and trying to fix the little flaws that disrupt the poems motion. Sometimes poets try to make a rhyme, or make a point in their poem so bad that they disrupt the nice clean and easy-reading flow we all try to achieve.

Other than that, i thought you got the message through great and I definitly enjoyed reading this poem.

5/5
Bryce

The rhyming was broken thru out the poem but i absolutely loved it. such a twist at the end, i thought he shot himself for a second! well done hun, another unique piece.
Much Love And Many Kisses, Bex.

Hey,
wow so sad, its a very long poem but it didn't bored me, the rhyming was a little off at the end but futher more it very good 5/5
kisses stephanie

Wow. i love your poem. its too much for words but it is the best poem ive ever read...... i thought the ending was kinda scarie...hmph! the dads such a meanie. im givin you a 5. peace dude.

LoL..I Really liked this one too...It gave me the chills..!

Holy $h!+ this poem is amazing!

Oh this is really good, hit so close to home for me,luv the line:Her dad said she deserved it
-- she started to believe
that she was really a bad girl
who needed to be beat.
you have real talent.5/5

I do believe this is the one of the greatest poems i've ever read.
It reminds me of the song concrete angel.
Anyways, your a brilliant poet and story teller.
Keep writing

Troxden

It has an impact to my heart..
a good sad poem..

5/5

kip rockin'

Wow. That hurt. Alot. My father beats me and has since I was a kid. I'm a teenager now and struggling every day. He has tried to kill me several times. It hasn't happened yet but I'm never giving up. This really hurt. It has been added to my favourites. 5/5. Keep up the good work

I never get tired of reading your poems!! x

Wow, this is very very powerful.
You write the story so well that it drew me in like I was a fly on the wall or even still the girl. My heart ached for her and for the many people that can relate to this.

All the best, Em

It's a pleasure :)

WOW... Okay this made me cry a little. but its only because I felt like I was there with this girl. Through all the pain and silent suffering. Then the ending. Brilliant!

Woah...

This broke my heart completely...this is a cruel world. Fathers abusing and killing daughters...it makes me so hopeless. You have told the tale so clearly in rhyme.

This piece is so vivid and shocking that it sent cold shivers down my neck. It's a subject that people don't want to talk about because it's easier to pretend it doesn't happen. A sentiment very well captured here. Well done on putting it out there in a way that is honest and dramatic as real life is. It's something that should be dealt with severely before it's too late. Milly x