Moments in Mind

by awww   Oct 4, 2006


You have forgiven me
And even showed your smile
I just felt so happy
Because it's been a while

Too long have I been in darkness
With fleeting days and painful nights
Always feeling this loneliness
Without you as my saving light

A light I always looked upon
For all the hope, comfort and peace
Even before the pain begun
Your presence made me feel at ease

For I knew you were there
To be with me always
No doubt I felt the care
Shown by your gentle face

I feel I've reached the sky so high
Just knowing that you love me too
But alas this was all a lie
And not a single word was true

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    The whole poem was building me up and then the last verse melted me all down and took it all out of me, I really enjyoed reading it, I love how you had your emotions consumed in each world, bravo bravo

  • 17 years ago

    by Shinobi

    A really good poem, rhymes and stanza's express each a unique meaning. A touching story with another great ending 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Cassandra Wojick

    I really liked this, great job. youre truly talented.

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    Lil' prob-
    begun-began, or had begun

    Alas.i like that word.

    anywayssss.
    to tell the truth i did not know this had an abab rhyme scheme until this stanza
    For I knew you were there
    To be with me always
    No doubt I felt the care
    Shown by your gentle face

    and this stanza kinda broke it!
    face and always do not rhyme because the beats they land on inthe P meter. or w/e. i would try to adjust this stanza

    Overall very well penned.

    x3 Lauren

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Oh I really enjoyed this. The flow was excellent. I also loved the way you ended it, it really rounded the whole poem off. Good job.

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