Closer and Closer

Better than the previous version.

The last stanza is much better than the previous version. Distress still stands out as an odd word in the first stanza.

Your third stanza is the best and the flow is ok.

But not one of the best love poems that I have read.

Mousie,

This is a nice poem. The expression has depth but I still feel you should improve your phrasing, especially in the last stanza. And one major thing that is poem lacks in Punctuation. You can make it express much better with proper punctuation. I felt that the flow is better than Nightmare but still it is to be improved, especially between the stanzas.

Coming to language, there are a couple of things that I would like to point out

\"Sweeping elsewhere my distress.\" sounds quite an odd line in the first stanza and puts off the flow.

The line \"Reassuring me of the hope and faith\" should read \"Reassuring me of hope and faith\" without the \"the\".

The line \"And the further I fall,\" should not have an \"And\". Using \"and\" only to bing the lines together is not a good practive in poems and the lines sounds better without the "and", and no logical meaning is lost by removing the \"and\" in the line. So the line sould read \"The further I fall.\"

The line \"The more I know\" should read \"The more I come to know\".

Apart from language I seriously have no idea what you mean by closer we ger, further I fall yet you are bound together?? Does it not mean that you have been quite unsuccesssful in falling further (apart)?? , which is of course a good thing in a real situation though.

Wow you havent wrote in a while but that was a great poem nice to see your still as good as ever.5/5