Always looking for an escape
And another alibi to hide behind
But words wore thin again
Fresh out of my usual excuses
Need so badly to get away
Your touch burns like acid
Try to wear this f**king mask
To hide that ecstasy is agony
Maybe look not so far away
Feeling light years apart
Motions void of feeling
Movement purely mechanical
Innate reaction to stimulus
Just nerves doing what they do
Body guided by instinct alone
This weight crushing my mind
Being here but not really
Doing this but hating it
Letting you and despising it
Wishing for that final release
Just happen please and let me be
Closed eyes but not of passion
Wanting to be anywhere but here
Thankful for the darkness
Hiding my battered heart
Hate myself for getting into this
Hate the situation I can't get out
The sounds that never give me peace
Smells that force me into the now
Praying for my mind to just go numb
Begging for a new way to fake it
Believable enough to not be caught
Another deep run wound joins the rest
When the ritual finally drew its end
Laying there hoping thought stays away
Hating this and hating what happened
Hate knowing it'll happen again
