I love you

by BK Butterfly   Oct 7, 2006


Here I am again,
trying to put words on my feelings.
here I am again,
trying to have it rhyming!

There's not much left to say,
you read through me like in an open book.
I'm glad it all went this way,
from the start I was on the hook.

every time I'm mad,
you know why!
so you stop making me sad,
and it works, that I can't deny!

every time I'm happy,
you share my every laugh.
you're always right behind me,
even when life's tough!

but you bring me so much more
than just love and happiness.
you complete me to the core,
without you I'm simply a mess.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by MusoXDanielle

    Very well described!
    I think this is a good piece of work...

    Poems arent all about ryming, its good what you have done though!

    Keep it up!

    Danielle
    X

    5-5 because i think this poem described my feelings so i like it! :-D

  • 18 years ago

    by Leslie

    I agree with the idea that you dont need to focus on the rhyme scheme. The idea you want to send across is clear but it feels like its too clear. I like it, its fresh and light but it could use a little depth. All of your writing is so out there with its honesty but i would say lose the effort towards rhym scheme and put work into the way you word your thoughts.

  • 18 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    I think you're overall thought was really sweet, but I also believe you could dig a little deeper and express more feelings on the subject, and don't try to force it to rhyme so much. It's a nice poem...it doesn't need perfection! Jpoet*

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