by BK Butterfly Oct 7, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
i love you
Here I am again, |
Very well described! |
by Leslie
I agree with the idea that you dont need to focus on the rhyme scheme. The idea you want to send across is clear but it feels like its too clear. I like it, its fresh and light but it could use a little depth. All of your writing is so out there with its honesty but i would say lose the effort towards rhym scheme and put work into the way you word your thoughts. |
by *Charisma*
I think you're overall thought was really sweet, but I also believe you could dig a little deeper and express more feelings on the subject, and don't try to force it to rhyme so much. It's a nice poem...it doesn't need perfection! Jpoet* |