Joanita.

by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG   Oct 8, 2006


-Joanita.-

Little Joanita sat by the river side
As she gazed out into the murky water
Slowly sinking her toes in the rippling tide
Time dragging on as the sun grew hotter.

Tiny Esther smiled up at her from her shirt pocket
A doll passed onto her from her old Dad
And with his smile fading in her rusted locket
Her tears fell lightly on top his plaid.

Three years had passed and no sign of him yet
Her fourth birthday was tomorrow, would he be there?
Her Mother stood on top the bank looking at her silhouette
A tear fell down as Joanita finished her silent prayer.

A cold cot lay under the open ceiling
Little eyes opened, staring upon the moon
And a daughter's prayer, a Mother was stealing
Whispering to the Lord, morning would come soon.

When little Joanita arose at dawn, she was grasping a note
White with innocence, and sealed with love
Inside her head; she read to herself what Amy had wrote

"My Mommy tells me that you are turning four today,
And that for your birthday, all you wanted was a Dad,
Although I can not do that for you, I do pray.
I pray that you will play with all the dolls I once had
If you are wondering, they are in that little wooden box.
I wish I could be there with you to wish you all the best
But Mommy tells me it is more than just a few blocks
So until I can, I will hold your picture above my breast."

Tears ran down little Joanitas' famished face
A doll locked in a wooden box on top her cot
Dressed up in fake pearls and ashen lace
For her fourth birthday, that's all she got.

© Jenna Elphick
October 8, 2006.

--Okay meaning for this one is clearly an African child suffering and all she wants is her Dad back. He had died, so the mother knew he couldn't be there. Foster parents sponsored her and the little girl is now her pen pal. And she got another doll, and the dolls are symbolic for the reason that they will always be there for her when she is down and will remind her of all who love her. I know the flow sucks and the poem is kind of poorly written. But this is a touchy subject to me, and if you vote, please comment as well and tell me the reason why you voted what you did. --

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Whitey

    Fantastic work, very emotional, i really like this one, your rhyme okay, there were some parts that were just a little bit out of place, great use of vocabulary, i'm speechless as i type this comment, this is just plain brilliant. Cheers, keep it up buddy.

    'Whitey

  • 18 years ago

    by Mommy And Me

    Sweety, that was so touching.. im crying right now... well you no me.. i cant cry in front of others.. sept that one time.. ohkay no im deffinatly tear filled eyes.. wow Jenna only you can do this to me with in a poem.. i love all your work so much i dont even no what to say... good work doll face

    -Terra

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica

    Awh.. That was really sad sweetie.. First of all, the flow was a bit rockety at times.. Like I wasn't sure if you had switched the tenses or not because that's what it sounded like.. But after going back, it didn't look like that was it.. I'm not sure.. The descriptions are good, they really draw the reader in..I didn't really understand why you added in the bit about them being pen pals.. I felt that it didn't really have anything to do with the poem, but maybe I misunderstood it..

    A cold cot lay in the middle of the floor under the open ceiling
    Little eyes opened in the night, staring upon the moon
    And a little ones prayer, a Mother was stealing
    Whispering the tragedy to the Lord, morning would come soon.

    ^ I don't understand what this stanza means.. Maybe it is just me, but I found it confusing..

    Nicely done though Jenna, the emotion was clear and the idea meaningful! 5/5

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