Blowing bays

by joern   Oct 8, 2006


There was this guy from everywhere
Who went along the blowing bay
He keeps his smile for summertime
When his face is warmed by the first sunray

He likes to walk the lonely shores
The dark sky and the water waving
Wet sand and waves beneath his toes
His mood is really caving

He decided to move step by step
While remembering the hazy weather next day
He sits down and then touches some stones
And then he throws them to water and far away

Where are they going next?
Those stones playing with the water
Down the deep, deep water
Moving, Moving
And then they crush
Without a sound
Into the muddy ground

He makes himself fall into sleep
By counting the stars in both skies
The next day he awakes with a smile
Soft sunrays make him open his eyes

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Nefarius

    Hi,
    die story mit dem typen am strand finde ich sehr gut, obwohl ich noch nicht die komplette aussage begriffen habe, aber mit den worten hast du eine sehr gute stimmung erzeugen können,

    an einigen stellen finde ich es etwas holprig, aber ich habe noch nicht nachgeschaut, ob du dir über die metrik gedanken gemacht hast.

    durch die vorletzte strophe bekommt es dazu noch etwas songtexthaftes, was ich mir bei dem text auch gut vorstellen könnte,

    gefällt mir

  • 18 years ago

    by NothingGoldCanStay

    This poem is good. Dark.
    I gave a 5.
    Great ending.

    He makes himself fall into sleep
    By counting the stars in both skies
    The next day he awakes with a smile
    Soft sunrays make him open his eyes

    Love it.
    The language feedback is good.

    Take care.
    N-G-C-S

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