My Languid Loneliness

Early at light, I wake up every morn;
Rest of the day, I drearily dread on.
Tackling life, much like a forlorn,
I face people, my heart full of scorn;
Hostile thoughts, sharp as blackthorn;
With a friendly smile, my face adorn.

Amongst my kin, alone I stand;
Within my clan, aloof and bland.
Gloating Glee, runs wild my band
Sound silence, is what I demand.
Among thy fists; an open hand;
Banished by will, not by command.

Mighty Lords Divine, not of my belief;
Thought & Knowledge, among qualities chief.
Love & Trust, gateways to grief
Carouse & Canoodle, my ways to relief.
Time! Time that turns; waylays death mischief
Oh Lady Luck, I glutton for your kiss so brief.

Long before, I felt young as a fawn
My life, pleasant as first light at dawn
As I grew, coveting needs were drawn
Dashing desires, tough to stifle as a yawn
Life became a game and people pawn
And in my heart and thought, shadow spawn.

Rushing thoughts, aligned my head precise
Coarse feelings, turned my heart to stone & ice
Cramping fears, taught me the ways of the wise
Nasty surprises, told me to be wary of advise
Bawdy Betrayals, made me wear a guise.
I took what I wanted; now I pay the Price.

My dark distress, I failed to express.
To faithful friends, I denied to confess.
My prancing pride, I never did oppress.
Pleas of my conscience, I did not address.
Every woman who loved me; I took for an actress.
Today I walk, hand in hand; with My Languid Loneliness.

- Dumpstead