My Story

I want to cry,
I want to scream,
I want to run away,
I want to have a dream.

They have me mistaken,
They don't know the truth.
I have had heartbreak,
And been dragged out of my youth.

I have been through more,
Than what they will in a lifetime,
And although they mock,
I hope they never have a life like mine.

So here is my story.

It started at eighteen,
I was floating on my feet.
I had a handsome man.
Turns out he was a cheat.

Then that wasn't enough.
he beat me too,
Was in hospital,
two cracked ribs and a broken nose too.

I did not become the victim.
I found my strength, knew i did not want this life.
walked out on him,
I am not a cowering wife.

Then came the man,
to make life better.
I thought i would be happy,
God had another plan.

Although i loved him,
It was not enough.
God took him from me,
Lets make her life that little bit more tough.

Keeping all the pain to myself,
Has become too much.
Need to find relief,
find it in self harm to myself.

But very soon i discover,
that gives people cause to stare.
they go in clusters to whisper,
talk as if i am not even there.

Cutting is not enough.
I feel I'm losing control,
and i hate the way i look.
Wish i never had a soul.

I find a new release.
Hunger is my new friend.
i learn to love the cramps,
ill always have control, even in the end.

And yes people laugh at my cuts,
they laugh at my weight.
They don't understand my loneliness,
my private hate.

However i can only ignore them,
i have no ill wishes for them.
I feel no hate,
i wish no one my fate.