The truth

When it gets hard
i sit and cry
the tears fall down my cheeks
and they go unnoticed
all they do is push and shove
and then theres no one to turn to
when it gets really hard
when i lose it
i sit in my room
playing with the blade
sometimes i draw pictures
other times just straight lines
they ask me whats wrong
and all i can say is nothing
when deep down inside
theres a list that needs to be read
they think they're playing games
when really they are hurting
and all the times Ive lied
you'd never know how many
they just pile up
and i cant take ir
so here it is the truth
I've never loved someone
as much as i love you
I've never been able to
give up my heart
cause Ive been scared
i never reallt loved you at first
but then you grew on me
Ive never been this scared
of losing someone
because Ive lost them before
the list could go on
but tell me is this normal?
and now i want to know
the truth from you
how do you feel?