Darien, you have caught the audiences attention with this one. It's a subject no one wants to talk about, but it's there all the same. I love it. It has a certain element in it that imitates wisdom.

Beautiful, yet very sad. Great imagery and flow. I really liked the last stanza the most, it was a wonderful way to end the poem at whole. Great job with this one! Thx for the comment too, it meant a lot to me. 5/5 Keep it up!

Stephanie

Beautiful, yet very sad. Great imagery and flow. I really liked the last stanza the most, it was a wonderful way to end the poem at whole. Great job with this one! Thx for the comment too, it meant a lot to me. 5/5 Keep it up!

Stephanie

Awesome Job, the flow was good, except in this line...

"I said those lines like they were my last words"

you should take the word "words" out of it...it doesn't really flow with it, plus you already state it is words in a way when you said, "I said those lines"

Ciao, Joe

Loved this one... well written. keep it up

Hmm this had a much darker overtone to your usual style although I still enjoyed it.
Your choice of words is cutting and evocative so that you really feel for the subjects

I loved this poem. Please dont ever change it. 5/5