Love it, hun. Maybe, try to work on the flow of the last stanza a bit---Your word choice and emotion throughout the piece is flawless--Keep it up-5/5

Wonderful job on this one hun! Great flow and wording! You're a great writer, keep it up! 5/5 Thx for the comment, it meant a lot! :)

Innoc3ntStar

Great read!! The flow was excellent! The words used were good. Thanks for your comment and keep them up! xx

This poem has a powerful concept and I feel you had a really powerful vision which you could have described much better. Considering the first stanza,the line

"Far in the distance." fits oddly there, as the other lines regarding feeling his breath and warmth generally give the idea of the two being pretty close in term sof physical distance. Yes, I can imagine a fantasy world where all this could happen even at great distances but still considering the logical integrity and the ending of the poem, as the concept is very reality oriented, pushing the reader to a fatasy world in the beginning is not quite advisable. Also the word "separate" does not fil well in the last line and hampers the flow of the poem.

The flow is beautiful in the second stanza, my only suggestion would be to remove the "And" in the line "And finally we meet".

The third stanza is ok, it could have been much more powerful in delivering the ending. But, flow wise it's ok. The two lines

Forever does not last.
There is no forever.

is a repitition of the same concept I think. I would love to see the third line replaced.

Generally, I feel that vocabulary should be more powerful in your poems.

5/5. This is such a great poem! It has alot of emtion and I love the ending about that there is no forever!