Toxic Environment

I really feel this poem is unfinished, maybe just a little two liner to polish off and leave the reader with a question as to what we should do.

I also thought the transition in the third stanza from bio-warfare to piety was too to big a jolt, like a grating of gears that you hear three cars over. Did you have to rush the end or did you not get a change to write a second draft?

Aside from that I still like where this is going and your intentions of the message even if I feel it is not quite finished just yet.

Bret

Forgot to include this in my other comment: I liked the message a lot.

I really liked the first two lines; they had a very strong poetic element to them. Though the rest of the poem was good, the phrasing and rhythym might have been a little awkward in a few places (especially here: "Designer drugs to control the scoffing skeptic
Bio warfare for which there is but one antiseptic"-- I would suggest counting syllables to make sure that they match up; there are two extra syllables in the second line. I liked the alliteration though.) Now that I really look in-depth into it, I would give it a 5, but I've already voted. ;( My bad. Great job, though.

Wow, great poem -- i really like the message, it's dead on. If you get a chance stop by and read my poem.
-peace-

Awsome poem 5/5