Outburst

My mouth opens
No sounds come out
I open my eyes
yet I still feel blind
Theres one thing that is still working
The feel of my body
Things stir inside
Thoughts of pain,hate,suffering
seeing other people laughing and loving
makes me sick to my stomach
No vomit though...
More like a small pain
Now standing in my chest
my bottom quivers
I feel something rising
this process is old
but it feels so new
I hug my knees closer
bury my head in the shadows
there are tears
Rain drops of my own
whats wrong with me
Is this what I want to be?