Autumn Calm {Haiku}

by xxEvilAngelxx   Oct 18, 2006


Three birds fly from trees,
Leaves of yellow, orange, red,
Free of any cares.

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Re-Write:

Three birds fly from trees,
Crisp leaves of yellow descend,
Free of all burdens.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by AnnMarie

    I LIKED THE SECOND ONE MUCH MORE! once again totally dumb about haikus,
    -Ann

  • 18 years ago

    by TheWorldFellNUWerentThere

    5/5. I like the re-write! Love it. Great write~

  • These were both good but I'm not sure why you have a rewrite. They both have the right syllable counts. Anyways, nice descriptions used and good imagery. Nice job 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Esther

    I like this, and the way it expresses every-thing, and coincidentally i agree, my poems are usually better when they have lots of meaning, or deep emotion, but i can't always write dark poetry!! but i am sure you could, just from reading this!!! it is very good!!

  • 18 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Good job, the second line was the best. The third line didn't really match. Keep it up