Comments : Together We'll Reach Perfection

  • 18 years ago

    by Sabrina

    Nice... hope it's not true though... 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Mousie

    Again, beautifully written... nice job 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Aww hunny! Omg! I hope this isn't true. 'Cause...just 'cause. >.< Like I said before, if you need someone to talk to, I be here. =)

    This poem was amazing. I thought it was from the POV of you, but I may be mistaken. Anarexia/Bulemia is very hard to overcome. I'm glad that you took the liberty of writing about it. So many people have that problem, and so many of them look horribly skinny and unhealthy. The only advice that I can give you if you have one of those diseases, that you don't think you're overweight. Lots of people are overweight. Even celebrities. But they don't care what they look like, as long as they're healthy.

    Aanyways...The flow was much better on this one. It didn't seem forced, or bumpy or anything. The rhymes were also a little better. I just have one suggestion:

    [{Which from} our shoulders protrude]
    ^^Suggestion: I think it should be {From which}. I just thought it might sound better lol. But you don't have to change it. Keep up the writing. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 18 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Wow...this was amazing.
    I liked the way you tackled the subject of anerexia and the last stanza, particularly the last line...just wow.
    Perfect.