Why must I struggle and live each day,
Fighting and warring within my mind.
Each time I try my heart to sway,
My hope is lost; I cannot find
The purpose of living within God's way,
And up that mountain ever to climb.
He claims great wealth this world can't hold
To give to me if I do his will;
But tis so hard to be so bold,
To be by his spirit always filled
When for so long I've been so cold,
And times for change so long I've killed.
I strive each day between these choices,
Trying to settle these pathways' powers,
Listening and hearing all these voices
Who urge my mind; I start to cower
Beneath these loads and heavy doses,
Fading sweet life like the field's flower.
Someone must help me choose a path;
It mays seem clear to those who have chosen
To live 'neath his will and out of his wrath,
But my heart is cold it's almost frozen;
It has not life. No breath it hath.
I must obey his words and know them.
Once more in life I turn to nothing.
I'll live my life with no purpose or plan.
I will not die; I will keep living,
Never again moved by His loving hand,
Though the battles I'm never winning,
And never again taking a stand.
