by Godoftheblackflame Oct 19, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
lost love
My eyes look down at my heart |
I can see the emotion here, however I do have a few suggestions about the flow and the rythym. You might try reading this peice outloud and see where the changes need to be made, it should flow evenly as if it were music from your heart., |
I know what that is like. woo.. well. Great emotion and depth. A wonderful job on flow. Good work. |