Bottle Cap

I must erase the truth.
I must forget how I feel.
I'll put my fake smile back on.
And I'll keep my pain concealed.

I will take all my sadness,
and lock it inside.
I will pretend to be happy,
and with you,no longer confide.

On the outside,I'll be happy.
On the inside,I'll be dead.
All my real thoughts and feelings,
are now only in my head.

They will all think I'm better.
That I'm no longer sick.
They won't see the real me.
A fake smile does the trick.

It's not like I've wished,
for a life full of fear.
But I'm afraid to be happy,
and afraid to show tears.

They can't make me better.
They can't cure my sins.
I've messed up my life.
No one will come in.

When they try to find me,
in happiness,in light,
they only find fake smiles.
The real me,out of sight.

I don't wanna live in darkness.
I don't wanna live in fear.
Even though you can't cure me,
please take away my tears.

I'm afraid to be happy.
I'm afraid to be free.
I'm afraid to tell you.
I'm afraid to be me.

All this sadness,
is all I have known.
Even if you love me,
only tears are shown.

My sadness is my comfort.
That's when they don't find me.
I'm afraid of myself.
I get hurt when you don't see.

I need you to help me.
Save me from myself.
I just can't understand,
why I don't want the help.