Memories

Sitting listening to music in the dark
waiting for any memoirs to come back
of my friends and the so called past
of all the things that did not last

trying to forget the memories of you
because it makes me sad and very blue
the good memories of us being together
we said that we would be there for each other

but look at me now alone in this place
can not even see your pretty face
my heart aching turning black
nothing can ever turn it back

you do not see me here sitting all day
if you did you would not know what to say
I have made great friends but non like you
your the only one who made me be true

your the one who tells me not to cut
your the one who tells me I am not a mut
your the one who is there when i need you
your the one who i visited and came to

your not here to hear me talk and complain
your not here to stop me from going insane
your not here to stop the sizzling pain I am in
your not here to watch me change within

so here i am sitting in the lonesome dark
hearing nothing not even a dogs bark
thinking sometimes cut my wrist or arm
but i can not do it anymore not the self harm

this pain is too much to see the blood
even it was turned into a puddle or a flood
i can not seem to erase the future or the past
whatever I am doing I am not doing it fast

I am killing myself killing my soul within
killing everything around me even sin
just take me away far and let me fly
let my past die and let me sit here and cry

knowing that whatever may become of me
just let me miserable soul fly and roam free
I can not be caged in anymore I need to be out
i can no longer be quiet i got to shout