That is really good it leaves me speechless.

Hey, firstly I'd like to say that I love the repitition in this. I'm pretty picky with too much repitition, I've tried it in my poems, and even in them I haven't always liked it. But you pulled it off. It was really well done. I think my favourite line was 'wilt away into the night' because it was metaphorical, with more than just one meaning: that's what poetry is made of. Good job!