Why did he have to be so kind?

Why did he have to be so kind
When no one else would care
It helped me but it hurt me
But I don't think he's aware

The place that we had met
Was nothing but a game
But from then on, after
It was never quite the same

Somehow we got to talking
And ended up as friends
I enjoyed the talks we had
The ones that had no ends

It really made me happy
To find someone like me
But my feelings started growing
Towards that which couldn't be

Then I obviously cared for him
More than a friend, you know
I felt that I should tell him
I was completely nervous, though

Eventually I said the words
Nervous, but direct
He already had a girlfriend
Something I already did expect

But the truth still hit me hard
It hurt me deep inside
It all crashed down upon me
Like the torrent of a tide

But I still wanted to be friends
No matter what the cost
And although he made me happy
Sometimes it was happiness I lost

I continued to care for him
More than he'll ever know
It became a part of me
Too hard now, to let go

I tried to always be there
To help him when he was sad
To give him someone to depend on
For he deserved more than he had

It made me feel so horrible
To know the troubles in his life
He was such a good person
Who shouldn't have to suffer through that strife

I tried so much to make him happy
To make him feel not so alone
To bring a smile to his face
To make his life feel like his own

I was sad when he would leave
When he wouldn't say goodbye
Sometimes it hurt so much
That it even made me cry

I longed so much to be with him
But I could never be by his side
I wanted to get over it
I couldn't, even when I tried

Every day I'd think about him
Every night before I fell asleep
I wished that he would be happy
I wished that he would sleep

I truly would do anything
If it meant that he would be alright
I'd think about it deeply
And hold myself so tight

Because I wished so much to hug him
That I would even reach out my arms
But he would never be there
I'm the one my feelings harmed

So far I''ve never loved another
In the time that I''ve loved him
It's been over a year now
But it all still seems so dim

Inside, I truly think I''m destined
To always be alone
Because no matter what I do or feel
I end up on my own

I just wanted to let you know
That I''ll always love you in my heart
I'll care too, I make that promise
Even though we're far apart

I only make the promises
That I know that I can keep
And I know that I can keep it
Because I've fallen in so deep

I sincerely wish you good luck
With the girl that you're with now
Because I know she makes you happy
If only I knew how...

*rates and comments are welcome, criticism is fine too.. first poem i\'ve written in a long time, i just really needed to get my feelings out*