Father of Mines

Father,

Why is it I that you have chosen to curse
Why am I that you have penalized
With such pain
When nothing have I done to deserve so

My mother , Father has never failed you
At least not a way unforgivable
We have been faithful and right in our lives
So why is it us that you choose to hurt

My life began falling apart that November 2004
When my mother had to get a serious surgery
My world was turning upside down
And I had nowhere to go

After the surgery she was very ill
I and my grandmother had to feed her
And do all for her
She couldn't bathe you see

Then a couple of months after that
You gave me the best gift of live
That wonderful man that has loved me
And been there for me for as long as I remember

You blessed me with a soul
And my life began reconstructing itself again
Although my mother was still very ill
Yaosmel lightened up my days and nights

For so long things were good
Until,
She began hurting in her lungs
She began feeling pains, and found it hard to breathe

After she received X-Rays from the doctor
The diagnosed her with lung cancer
The cancer that had first started out in her large intestine
Spread through out her lungs

Know she is, once again, treating with chemotherapy
Her back is always in pain
And every time she coughs it stabs her even harder
Which is very often

Now it's been 5 months
And I have been feeling awfully bad of my stomach
Having fatigues every now and then
And have been bleeding when I use the restroom

At first we though it was severe viruse
Then it wouldn't go away
So we went to my doctor
And it seems that it could very bad

I got a general analysis and was perfect
So I got send to a to a doctor whom specializes in such things
He and the nurse suggested that I get and endoscopy and colonoscopy
When the results came I seemed to have soars in my stomach

Now I was forbidden to eat any source of grease
Including cheese, chocolate ect.
For long my dad has been trying to help me with his religion
But I refused and that forced him to say it all

Last Saturday I went to his house with my boyfriend
And received very depressing
So it seemed that 6 years ago, my fathers saints warned him this would happen
That I had to become saint before age 14

One month after my 14th birthday I was diagnosed with gastritis
This seemed to be that the saints were right
And they also predicted that if I didn’t do the things I had to
I would die at an early age, 20-25

My father told me that my mom’s days were counted
That slowly day after day, as I type this poem my mom is dying inside
The cancer cells are slowly destroying her body
And minute after minute she is gently and painfully dying

So it seemed that the result I received the day of my appointment
Were far more complicated than I had been told
My mother hid it from me because she felt bad
She didn’t want me to believe that I was going to die because of her

That day I was found to have the same thing as my mother
And if I wasn’t treated immediately I might soon die
I will have to get surgery to have my large intestine removed
And from that day on my life will never be the same again

It hurts to know that I just might die just the same as my mother
I wish she had caught it in time, and maybe it would have never turned cancerous
And maybe my life would be a bit better and brighter
After all, she is my mother and I love her to death

So Know I ask you father,
Why has it been me that you have chosen?
Why have you done this to me and my mother?
We have never failed you father

We have been straight women in our lives
And have dedicated our life to you
Why have we received such punishment, and for what?
What have I done to deserve this?

Diana Cardero ©