I'm sorry...

There was something about the look in his eye
That told me I should go
The way he seemed to silently scream
"There's something you don't know"

I came to the door, but turned around
I said my last goodbye
And as I fumbled for the words
I saw his eyes tear up and cry

But there was something about the way he cried
That told me it was over
And I would never be at peace
I'd never have some closure

I closed the door tightly behind me
Breathed in slowly, and walked home
Silently, with company of tears
The walk was long, and I was alone

There was something in the touch of his hands
That let me know he broke
How every time he tried to speak
He'd just lock up and choke

Arriving at home, I sat on the porch
I cried for hours on the steps
The stone was cold on my body
But I was focused on all the regrets

There was something about his smile
That made me think something wasn't right
The way he never said anything
Nothing at all on that last night...

I picked myself off the cold stone
And brought myself together
And what I heard when I opened the doors
Will live with me forever

My family crowded around me
"Are you okay? Where've you been?
I swear they tried to save him
But they said he just gave in"

I didn't want to hear their comments
Even without words, I knew it all
As soon as I walked out that door
Nine-Nine-Nine received a call

Standing there at his funeral
Was even lonelier that I'd imagined
Staring at all of the faces
Still confused by what had happened

After everyone had gone home
I still stood there by his side
I must have been there for hours
A thousand tears, I must have cried

Morning turned into the dusk
It was cold, but I didn't care
The only thing I could think about
Is how he was gone, and it wasn't fair

I was mad at him, I was angry
And I tried my best to understand
Why he took his life away
Before he ever had the chance to become a man

But there was something in the air
That told me everything would be okay
So I got up, blew one last kiss
And slowly walked away

His memory brings my heart peace
Being able to see his face in my mind, I treasure
His body may no longer be with us
But his spirit lives on through me.. Forever.