The way you have shared this incident is just amazing, the words which you have used adds to the pain and it just touches the deepest part of heart, great write indeed

all the best and take care

This poem tugs at the strings of my heart. It is just so incredibly sad and being that it is a true life you're writing about makes it even more heart-touching.

Hold her in your heart deary and she will feel your love, no matter how many miles, land or oceans you are apart.....
Take care dear heart
Luanne

Hey darl very touching piece. very deep and powerful. keep it up xx

Hi!

Thanks for commenting on my poem "Beautifully Disguised", I'm glad you liked it.

About your poem, I really understood the meaning of it. I think the repetition was well used, because it was clear that you wanted that to be important in the message of the poem.

She was born into this world
Not knowing what surrounds her

What I liked the most about your poem was the message, because I could really imagine and feel what you were describing.

If you want to keep writing about this theme, you could try a shorter poem, the story could be seen from a different point of view.

Thanks for sharing this. If you need anything, let me know. =)

Keep writing.

Good job! 5/5

XoXo
Gaby

Beautiful Poem. Although It Was Very Sad. 5/5

*LoveLustTragedy*

This os really good and i can definetely relate. I felt that way my whole life and i don't no why. keep up the good work!

Great poem! I really loved it! It had so much emtion!

5/5

This is amazing! i love it!

That is soo sad!! But a great poem!!

Great poem!! excellent use of emotion and feelings and i loved the way you repeated the two lines " She was born into this world Not knowing what surrounds her" Very well done
5/5
Luv FallenxFromxGrace

FIrst I would like to say that this is another beautiful poem, but It has a few error's that need immediate fixing.

1) Instead of she crying, it should be She's crying. As in: She is crying

2) Instead of as she lays her head down, I think that it would sound better and read better as: As she lies her head down.

Those are the only error's that I see that need to be fixed. Other then that, I loved the story and the whole meaning of the poem. The flow was wonderful and the poem had strong emotions. You have done another wondrful job. Keep up the great work.
5/5

Best wishes
Letty

This piece was very powerful and heart wretching. I loved the emotion you put into this piece and the story behind it was quite interesting. I loved the flow it was perfect. The note you added at the bottom was really beautiful. I can't describe this to you. Well done~mel

Very beautifully worded and the true story is well portrayed. You have described the emotions well and left a touching message. Tc

This is a great piece, I like this piece very much. You have added so much of meaning and emotions in to this piece. Poetic and lexically strong.

Fsams

Touching... Hearth- breaking poem, with vivid imagery. Every line is excellently written.
Another one great, keep up! 5/5 from me