My father's death

When he died i never shed no single tear
there was no reasons for me to cry yet i did fear.
i wanted to cry but not a single drop fall from my eyes
i could only hear woman crying in my ears.
i wanted to cry but i could not
my mind was in a deep illusion hot
i only remembered that i no longer had a father
only left with my weeping mother.

it was only me in the family who didn't cry
i could not cry no matter how hard i try
now after a many and many more years
i cry alone many times though no one see or hear
i cry for the loss of my father day and night.
i cry for the loss of my father and all the lost pride

my life change completely and is never good
i started to live in misery many times without food.
i weep every day when i recall all those years without him
i cry when i imagine life today without him.

now i see the reason why i didn't cry when my dad died
because i was gonna cry again and again
i try to forget that he really died
yet i can not take away the pain.