Minority

by PygmyPuff   Oct 28, 2006


I don't want the star system that causes petty hate,
I don't believe the lies about me, and the negativity from which they originate.

To have credit it is not necessary; to be spoken to as a female dog,
To be covered with tattoos is a role that is only seen through the fog.

I prefer simplicity, without humility, I am the natural one.
It's the authenticity that protects me with its hum.

I'd never want to live in this carousel, I prefer the natual ground,
If on a day catch myself flying away I would turn myself around.

I do not want to lie to you, and I cannot lie to myself,
For the truth is I can live with without causing extra harm to my health.

To live in the world without contamination is just a dream,
For a minority can not be sucessful without a hidden rip in the seam.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by RainbowSlider

    Awesome work. My favorite of yours.

  • 18 years ago

    by Letty

    I loved this poem. I thought that it sent out a positive and useful message. I also loved that the rhyming was perfect, it wasn't a cliche', The structure was good and the metaphor's were wonderful. You are very talented Katherine and I thank you for sharing your talent with me. I found a few error's that I think that you would like to correct. The first error that I found was in this line:

    Its the authenticity that protects me with it's hum.

    This line has a few grammer mistakes and it should be written this way:

    It's the authenticity that protects me with its hum.

    And also in this line you left out the I:

    If on a day catch myself flying away I would turn myself around.

    It should be:

    If on a day I catch myself away I would
    turn myself around.

    There are a few more error's that need corrections. Such as:

    I do not want to lie to you and I cannot lie to myself,

    I think it would be better written this way:

    I do not want to lie to you, and I cannot lie to myself.

    because you are pausing after the word you and myself is the end of the sentence.

    For the truth is one I can live with without causing extra harm to my health.

    I think here you could have done without the word one, because the word one seems to be redundant to this sentence. I think that you should edit this poem and correct the few error's. This is a very wonderful poem. I love the flow and I even read it twice, because I liked it so much. If you believe my critique to be incorrect I sugest you get a more professional poet from the site to check it out. I see know other mistakes. I may have overlooked some, but that is because this is a great poem. Keep up the great work. 5/5

    Best wishes
    Letty

    P.S. Thank you for commenting on my poem. I am sorry that it took me so long to get back with you, but I have been extremely busy.

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