Screwed up

I don't want to live,
But I don't want to die,
It doesn't make sense,
But then again nothing does,
I feel trapped,
I need to get out,
Out of this life,
Be somebody else,
Even if it is just for one day,
One day where I don't feel pain,
And I don't feel grief,
I hate myself and so does everyone else,
I dont blame them.