Dead Until the Day i Die

Couldnt wait till i got home
to pass the time in my room alone
the only place i could call my own
the place where i want to die alone

these cheeks are sore from all the smiling
inside my black hearts slowly dying
eyes bloodshot from all the crying
a smile to hide my life again

hiding in the shadows of my despise
caught in my tangled web of lies
running from myself with nowhere to hide
my sick thoughts of taking my life

pill after pill cut after cut
hurting myself to make this stop
only had one sort of luck
only thoughts are ... fuk

small traces now listen closely
to a heart thats beating softly
i have never felt so lonely
never felt suck loneliness

just wanting to walk away
walk away and find a new day
let this one burn in hell today
because tomorrow is a new day

but this will never happen and i dont know why
my sadness i cant deny
this was just my way of saying goodbye
because i know im dead until the day i die