I\'m not what i wanted to be

This is not what i wanted to be...
i didnt want to become like this
i didnt want to cut
or starve myself
or become what u wanted of me

i wanted to be me
happy and idealistic
creative and caring
acheiving what i wanted to

i\'m not what i want to be
i\'m nothing but a pawn in ur game
PLEASE stop filling my mind with these thoughts
i cant take it anymore
i want to die bcuz i\'m not me

the truth is killing me already
am i nothing to everyone
is this all i am... a means of use

stop filling my head with these thoughts mum it cannot be
when did u make me live a life of no choice and lectures of how they dont care they are only using me

STOP it please ur killing me
i didn\'t want to be like this
i wanted to be more
but ur putting me down into despair
making me believe these horrible things

now look what u\'ve done
i\'m questioning the friendships i have
how can i ever trust again

as my tears run dry
my heart begins to die
i\'m dead inside at ur own hand
is this what u wanted of me mum
cuz this is not what i wanted to be

i thought u loved me mum
obviously untrue
else u would treat ur daughter better instead of killing her inside

now alone in this world even though surrounded by family and friends
how can i believe they care
i\'m alone and i\'m not what i wanted to be