Without U

by minnie4cheese   Oct 30, 2006


Without u I'm summer without rain,
fish without scales,
wind without flight,
insomnia - oh no a sleepless night,
heart without soul,
mind without goal...

with u i was gone in the wind,
drenched in the rain,
chocking on scales,
sleeping on a bed on nails.
putting u before me,
heart wasn't in the soul mind didn't want a goal...

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  • 18 years ago

    by Kirsty palmer

    Aww cute and sweet poem. i loved the way you wrote it.. very heartfelt and touching. the only thing i would say is in the first stanza you wrote 'summer without rain' ?? should it be 'winter without rain' OR 'summer without sun' ?? just some helpful hints :)
    other than that BRAVO LOL 5/5
    Please could you read and comment on my poems, i'd like to know what you think, and how i can improve. thanks xx

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