Its Getting Old

This throbbing in my chest,
is starting to get old.
I thought that I could handle it,
just keep it contained, controlled.

Now its getting harder and harder,
to keep all the emotions down.
And Ive tried everything to keep,
from hearing my heart pond.

But I still get up each day,
always thinking of stupid you.
Its getting really old,
the things we used to do.

Now everything is in the past,
and I think we should move on.
For I cant keep up with this s h i t,
it hurts to keep it going this long.

No matter what we chose to do,
I know it will hurt like hell.
I never should have fallen for you,
I knew this would happen, I could tell.

And yet I'm still sitting here,
wanting to hold you tight.
Wondering if its really me,
you think about at night.

Hoping that maybe ill see you today,
and maybe we could talk.
If you weren't to busy,
we could finally go for that walk.

And after every time I see you,
I wanna hit myself again.
For if I keep going like this,
this s h i t will never end.

So I'm stuck with a choice,
that I lose either way.
No matter what I pick,
I'll still think about you each day.

But its not worth going on,
just to live these lies.
For each and every minute,
another piece of my heart dies.

I cant even feel,
when I cry anymore.
I'm sick of waking up again,
with my eyes all puffy and soar.

I go to sleep with,
your shirt on every night.
Hoping that it will protect me,
instead of you tonight.

I guess I just love to be hurt,
over and over and over again.
But this time my heart is not coming back,
this time it wont mend.

So when you move on,
and finally get on your feet.
Maybe just maybe its its fate,
again we will meet.

But until then this is goodbye,
at least this one didn't a lie.