by Kalgalath Nov 1, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
desired love
As I walked across this bridge of dreams |
Your rhymes seem very forced. This is not as good as the previous one I read of yours. Please try to revise those rhymes and I think you will have more success. You have very meaningful themes though. |
I agree with what some other people said. The flow and rhyming seemed to be a bit off. |
by Jenni Marie
I enjoyed this, I thought the wording and imagery were amazing. |
by Imperfect
I love this poem. |
by Mousie
It didn't really flow all that good, and your rhyming was a little forced... in some places it rhymed and in some places it didn't. i liked the idea though. maybe just go back and tweek a few things. |