Why I cant let go...

Sometimes I ask myself,
What am I even thinking of?
Why do I do these things,
And act like this is love?

Why do I let him touch me?
Why do I ask for more?
I know that I don't love him,
Yet I cant walk out that door.

Why do I stay behind,
After all the hurt he's put me through?
Why when he tells me he loves me,
I lie and say I love him too?

Is it because I've become accustomed?
Or because I'm scared of being alone?
I thought that I could love you,
But I find my feelings haven't grown.

So why then cant I just leave?
Just turn and walk away.
Why do I kiss him every morning,
And wish him a very good day?

If in reality I don't care,
If I have no love to give.
But I play along in this world,
Is the only way I know to live.

I stay because I'm used to it.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I know nothing else but this,
Even though I know its not the best.

His arms are my shelter,
Yet I feel no warmth
His touch is reassuring,
Yet I feel no passion.

He is my lover,
Yet not the love of my life.
He'll always be there,
Yet I'll never be his wife.

Why I do what I do,
Maybe I'll never know...
All I know its I'm not happy,
But I just cant let go.