My life's war

My youth was spent on awaiting the new war
A war that is threatened to occur with every new day
I wake up in the morning wishing I was still dreaming in bed
But I also wait nervously for the bomb to go off
And in the end of each day I tend to die a little inside
Die of pain that my soul suffers and my mind captures
Die of sorrow and grief that is my life
A life that doesn’t even measure to hell
It’s like reliving a nightmare over and over again
It’s like seeing a horror movie that doesn’t have an ending
I used to cry hysterically everyday
Crying my heart out and screaming for someone’s help
Killing my heart by bleeding it with the stabs of every tear I shed
Tears that have drained through the years and that have left my eyes emotionless
Tearless with a gap of unfulfilled happiness in my soul
A soul that has become empty of committing any feelings like those I have seen and dealt with
Although I have lived in hell but I moved to earth when the devil moved out
I’m looking and searching for heaven on earth
But I couldn’t find it and I fear I never will
Cause where heaven lies is where a person’s heart really lies
And this heart is still searching for its rightful place
The place where its owner is kept and hidden
In a place called unknown future