"Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, wish I could.
They say time heals everything,
but I'm still waiting."
I'm trying to find an opening; a way to get this out,
searching for the words to explain what it's about.
I could never really find the proper words to say,
how I've felt about your parenting each and every day.
Maybe in the past I was oblivious and dumb,
needing someone to look up to, so you were number one.
But after all the years of honesty, and finding out the truth,
I think it's right to say that I wish I never knew you.
All the years of pain have caught up in the end,
I can't believe I ever said that you were like my friend.
You never taught me anything, except to do your job,
and even way back then, you were still a f#cking snob.
I sided with you; I believed everything you'd say,
but now I'm lying to myself, saying I'd never go that way.
It's scary to think that I might grow up just like you,
to have every sentence be a lie and be proud of it, too.
When I was young, I truly thought you'd cared,
but I remember now that you never said you'd be there.
You'd be angry in the mornings, when you woke to see me there,
Laying next to you, with my frightened little stare.
Nightmares had the best of me, through my entire life,
but you hardly offered consolation through all of that strife.
Adding on to the pain with your drinking and your drugs;
there was a point where cigarettes replaced all my hugs.
I want to say I hate you, for all the pain you've caused,
but every time I form the words, I just come to a pause.
I want to say I love you, for all those memories so far,
but every time I form the words, I remember who you are.
