This one was good though... yes it does need some improving, especially that last line, it really didn't work... but nice job still

Yeah this one needs a little fine tuning lol but it's good. You know I always wanted to ask you if you were a boy or girl caue your pro said boy but your poems said girl. lol Anyway I don't care if you say your a boy lol it's all good. Anyways good poem so far I like it...I especially like the idea of it.
=D
5.5
Breanna

Thats exactly how I feel right now...I have to give you a 5. And I didn't see anything wrong with it.