Day Gives Way to Night

by ImmortalKitty   Nov 5, 2006


As I lie in peaceful day dreams upon the hill A gentle breeze blows by with the scent of wildflowers basking in the sun I lift my gaze toward the evening sky Now lit on fire with colors so brilliant I aw in true excitement of the art that lay before me
Every color gently brushed together The blue of the evening sky blends with the radiating sun beams The clash of the two forces streams glory to its visionary As the sun lowers beneath the rising moon Day gives way to night

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  • 18 years ago

    by Walter Krijthe

    I like what you wrote, but suggest you rewrite it in shorter lines, it doesn't really look like a poem now - something like:

    As I lie in
    peaceful daydreams
    upon the hill
    a gentle breeze blows by
    with the scent
    of wildflowers
    basking in the sun

    etc

    play with it a bit, my example is not necessarily the best way ;)

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