A messed up mind or is it the world

Pain it tickles
feeling pain pointless
Even if an injury cripples
I remain clueless

My body and mind are split
Never able to meet
Leaving me in pieces that do not fit
At first it was funny now its not so sweet

Now I find it funny when I bleed
It looks like red paint
When I bleed
But It makes others faint

My mind it wonders
To a time when I was sane
Now I ponder
As the blood flows from my veins

I cant return to the past
So I make the best of the now
I wish the past did not go so fast
I wish the past was now

My emotions are strong
Towards others not me
I like this and hope it last long
I may be warped but I like this me

Emotions may be chemical
Controlling how you feel
And you mind may be electrical
Even so what you feel is still real

So how do you know what is real
Is it what you feel or is it the world
Its up to you how you feel
About what is real you or the world