Wanting To Remember

There was something so heavy about the burden of history;
Of that past.
I wasn't sure I had it in me to keep looking back.
But, the memories kept haunting me.
Forcing me to take a journey back in time.
Everything came rushing back in an instant.
It was as if I were reliving each moment all over again.
It felt like I was drowning.
The pressure of not breathing was heavy on my chest.
But, I was OK.
And, the memories kept coming.
Everything was in black and white.
I felt like I was in a theater watching a slide show.
Only, it was all about my life,
It was almost like it was fake.
But, yet so real at the same time.
I was in tears.
There was a puddle beside my feet.
I don't know if I should be happy or sad.
But, the memories are so special to me.
So, I don't know if I should smile about the good times;
Or cry because I miss those times so badly.
I can never let go of what happened.
And, I will always want to remember.