Coma

by Robert H   Nov 6, 2006


The accident happened and we can't take it back
I'm living life numb and trying not to crack
I thought we were great till that tragic day
I felt my true love start drifting away
I wasn't aware what was going on
She kept it all in like a brewing storm
Now I am standing waiting for her to awake
Hoping she finds her way back to me for heavens sake
She lays there asleep till this very day
As I whisper in her ear begging her to stay
I pray to God to keep her here with me
I am still in the love with her thats my plea to he.
As we lay here laying side by side
I feel nothing and then I start to cry
I'm giving everything I have my heart, body and soul
trying to make a diamond out of a single piece of coal
She is in a deep sleep trying to find her way
So I whisper some memories from back in the day
I feel she doesn't love me the same as I do for her
How can that go away we were each others first
i am praying its just hard times
and that she may finally see a sign
We are love at first site
A bird taking its first flight
we are the rainbow after the storm
And the long hugs that keep us warm
Please let this coma be the reason
She thinks her love for me has gone out of season
I love you

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by ellewen

    "I felt my true love start drifting away
    I wasn't aware what was going on"

    basically it sounds like you are saying after i realized they were drifting away I didnt know about it. Your words kinda go against eachother. I would consider rephrasing just a bit.

    but it practically made me cry it was so breath taking. Which is allot coming from me. This is something I can understand.

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Very good poem. With a nice floe to it.5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Ed or Ian Henderson

    This... This is just very very emotionally gripping. Wow! I was hooked right from the start, and you've got a topic that is very hard to cover in a convincing way unless you KNOW and FEEL what you're writing about.

    "trying to make a diamond out of a single piece of coal" really really drives home the incredible hardship one feels when a life one so loves is taken into that horrible limbo between Our Worlds. I totally feel jealous that I've never articulated this feeling in this way. I tip my hat to you, sir. A genius moment.

  • 17 years ago

    by ALEX

    "So I whisper some memories from back in the day"

    for some reason this line stands out to me.

    such a sad subject... amazing wording. good job.

    -Parker

  • 17 years ago

    by Lindsay

    Very much like your other one, but still good. I would section it differently if I were you, it looks a bit clumpy.

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