I feel really sad now :-(

This poem is very good and very sentimantal very well written! Keep it up!

Very much like your other one, but still good. I would section it differently if I were you, it looks a bit clumpy.

"So I whisper some memories from back in the day"

for some reason this line stands out to me.

such a sad subject... amazing wording. good job.

-Parker

This... This is just very very emotionally gripping. Wow! I was hooked right from the start, and you've got a topic that is very hard to cover in a convincing way unless you KNOW and FEEL what you're writing about.

"trying to make a diamond out of a single piece of coal" really really drives home the incredible hardship one feels when a life one so loves is taken into that horrible limbo between Our Worlds. I totally feel jealous that I've never articulated this feeling in this way. I tip my hat to you, sir. A genius moment.

Very good poem. With a nice floe to it.5/5

"I felt my true love start drifting away
I wasn't aware what was going on"

basically it sounds like you are saying after i realized they were drifting away I didnt know about it. Your words kinda go against eachother. I would consider rephrasing just a bit.

but it practically made me cry it was so breath taking. Which is allot coming from me. This is something I can understand.