The Epic Journey

I\'m off to portsmouth today, on a battered yellow train
The seats are faded and dusty and the loo smells like a drain
It\'s gotten up my nose the smell, in fact it\'s pretty bad
Everytime I sit down on achair the dust in it goes mad

Inside the chair it waits, until unsuspecting me
Puts my bottom on the material, then suddenly \"Wheee\"
A cloud of the stuff blows in my face, and enters up my nose
Getting into every crevice, from my hair down to my toes

Thedrivers talking on the tannoy, but I can\'t hear a thing
It\'s quite annoying actually, the speakers are crackling
He\'s talking in a monotone, with a liverpudlian voice
Something about the tea trolley? Can't tell from all the noise

At last, the train pulls out, Oh no! I left the window open
Now the fumes are blowing in as we leave waterloo station
A big black cloud of pollution, it\'s making my eyes all teary
I can\'t make out the other people, everythings too bleary

Thats it, It\'s shut, and finally I can see
Although with all my escapades everyone\'s looking at me
I try to make a joke and laugh, but they\'re all stony faced
I think I\'ll just be quiet and return to my place

The grey clouds over london hardly make a pleasant view
Council houses daubed in paint, and the supermarkets too
Theres a lady sitting next to me, looking at The Sun
I can just read from the back page that bloody chelsea won

The sun is setting already, though it\'s only half past four
My eyes feel kind of droopy, and I keep wanting to yawn
Though to be completely honest, I don\'t fancy sleeping now
The dust has barely settled and the trolleys coming round

I\'ll wait until the trolleys come, and I\'ve had a cup of tea
Then I\'ll lean against the window, to catch a wink of sleep
Maybe I\'ll rest my eyes a second, just a few minutes of rest
Mum makes me sleep, and as she says \"mum knows best\"

Mm, I\'m really comfy, with my jumper zipped up tight
It would be so nice just take a nap now it really would be nic.....
\"Portsmouth Harbour, For the ferries\" Oh No! It can\'t be
I\'ve only been asleep a bit, we can\'t be here already

Oh shit! We are, oh bloody hell, I\'ll have to hurry up
Zip up my bag, Grab my coat, leave my empty cup
The seat exhales its dust cloud as I clamber off the train
Four days visiting Grandad, Then I\'ll be on the train again!