This is grat because you've put a lot of effort into the meaning and feeling, but it falls apart for me because so much of it seems so forced. At times you sacrifice clear rhyming for the sake of the poem's rhytm, and infuriatingly you then do the reverse and have an excessively long line which seems to be there purely to force a rhyme.

But there's no doubt from the length that you mean this as a pure and sincere dedication, and that's to be commended. But you've given a couple of hopefully unintentional comic moments with the use of "loosed" and "pedal". :-)

Very good and heart felt poem. Keep up the good work.5/5

I love it! It is full of meaning and just makes you thin kof some realities. Although taking a step back kinda was overwhelming, at the enormous size or this poem. You may have lost me once or twice but I really enjoyed what I got from it! I have a feeling I will read more of your work when I am conscious. lol