I keep writing to you
Wishing you were here
Telling myself your leaving, wasn't my doing
But the guilt
The regret
Is something I carry deep inside
I remember the words you said
Those last ones spoken
Before I turned and walked away
You said you loved me
That you were proud
You said you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
But in an instant
You were gone
And your words. . .
Began to fade into the night
I hated you so
Told myself you never cared
That you're leaving told me so
For how could you whisper those words?
Hold me in your arms
And promise to be there until the end
When leaving was what you planned?
I buried you away
Pretended you never existed
But the echo of your words
Rung my head
Sometimes I just wanted to hide
For it was you I missed most
Sometimes I just wanted to call you
To hear your voice on the phone
But I knew you wouldn't be there
And I blamed you for feeling this way
For if you cared
You wouldn't have left me this way
I stopped counting the days since you went away
Letting the years consume me whole
And the thought of you
To fade away
I buried the memories of you
Locked them deep inside
Telling myself
I didn't care
Never neededyou
And loving you was just a dream. . .
It's been years since I thought of you
REALLY thought of you
I can see you in my mind
The way you use to laugh
The brightness of your smile
The sound of your voice when you spoke. . .
And it kills me inside
How much I've missed you since you went away
The guilt of my anger consumes me
Building on the regret of my words
And I cry for all I've done
All I couldn't do. . .
I stare at your name
Craved there in stone for all the world to see
Two years to mark your time here. . .
A dash in between
Lined with memories I couldn't keep
What I wouldn't give to hold you in my arms once again
To take away your pain
To forgive you for all your mistakes
I would thank you for all you did
Tell you; I love you still
If I could just have one day with you
One moment
I would tell you
How sorry I am for blaming you for everything
For your going away
And leaving me this way
If I had just one more second
One more minute with you
I would tell you all I need to say
Look you in the eye and see you looking back once again
I would tell you how broke inside I've felt since you went away
I would ask if you're still proud of me
If you understand. . .
If I could have just one more day
One more hour with you
I would ask if you could forgive me
And help me say goodbye.
